Tweets

(Source: jtgunner)

bonaventure-:

my sister just texted me out of nowhere “do you want some pizza rolls i accidentally made 80” 

arelyhepburn:

This is the best gif you’ll ever see

dutchster:

why do shampoo bottles weigh hardly anything but when you drop them in the shower they turn into a meteor

darrynek:

lms if you’ve ever drank water or hijacked a school bus

(Source: panerasexual)

raddestbabe:

everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19

let-thewookiewin:

chris evans with a beard is the type of guy to take you out drinking and take you home and fuck you until you cannot walk

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chris evans without a beard is the type of guy to bring you flowers and coffee before work and tell you a joke while making love

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Him with the beard though……….yum

(Source: castielssam)

You Cannot Rest Here

feelinranty:

meeplol:

Have you ever played a video game where you have to sleep to recover? They only let you do it if everything is safe. Otherwise they won’t let you sleep. You’ll get a message, saying “You cannot sleep now, there are monsters nearby.”

Now, remember the last time you just couldn’t get to sleep?

I do.

Don’t you fuckin do this to me

peggyleads:

legolastouchedthebutt:

nayx:

making my way downtown oh my fucking god where am i

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#that should not have been as funny as it was

harryedward:

in america we don’t say “i love you” we just send people the emoji with the sunglasses 

beyoncevevo:

i get frustrated when i dont get a joke that has like 200k notes like what is it that 200,000 people understand that i dont 


badveganwolf:

imran-suleiman:

Photographer Mattias Klum from National Geographic gets close and personal with a lion.

"and all of a sudden you feel very small" damn right

scatterbug:

i’ve been framed

davidcrap:

if a gay guy complements a girl does he say “no hetero” afterwards?

awkwardlysasstastic:

my school’s jokes are actually getting funny

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